


With My Own Eyes

by CaptainAwesome242



Category: Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Character Study, Emotional Manipulation, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Manipulation, Movie: Star Wars: A New Hope, Movie: Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith, Movie: Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, Retrospective, Seduction to the Dark Side, Self-Reflection, The Dark Side of the Force
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2017-12-21
Packaged: 2019-02-18 03:02:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13091061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainAwesome242/pseuds/CaptainAwesome242
Summary: A deeper look into Vader's mind as he returns to the Light Side and becomes Anakin Skywalker once again





	With My Own Eyes

The Emperor was electrocuting Luke.

Sure, Vader himself had been locked in a lightsaber battle with him mere minutes ago, but it hadn’t been with the aim to truly hurt his son. He’d wanted to protect the Emperor, test the boy’s fighting skills and to subdue him as he continued to lure him closer to the right side of the Force. Luke had unwaveringly refused, but that just meant that he’d need more pressure, more incentive.

But the Emperor was not so convinced and was following through on his ultimatum - join us or die.

For the first time in twenty three years (for he has never stopped counting the years since he lost his wife), Vader finds himself questioning the Emperor. All those years ago, Palpatine convinced him to join the Dark Side by promising him the power to save his wife, stop her from dying as she did in his dreams. To give him the ability to protect his family.

Of course, Obi-Wan had then gotten in the way, turning Padmé against him. He hadn’t meant to hurt her, but he was so angry at the betrayal, at the meddling of his former Master he’d acted on his first instinct to lash out.

_“Let her go, Anakin!”_

He heard the words as clearly as if the man were in the room with him. He’d almost held on, loathe to agree with Obi-Wan, until he realised what he was doing and quickly let go, Padmé crumpling in breathless unconsciousness to the ground.

The Emperor had told him that he’d killed her.

His own wife. The one he’d done all of this for. His whole universe.

Dead.

And that day a part of Anakin, in fact the only part that was still _Anakin_ , died too, leaving only Darth Vader in his wake - an angry, vengeful shell of a man, full of hatred and evil. 

Until after many years the Emperor told him of the existence of Luke Skywalker, his son.

When Padmé had died, he’d been so filled with rage all else was gone from his mind. He’d assumed, wrongly apparently, that the child had died with the mother, and that the last of his family had been extinguished.

But it seemed the Skywalker line would not be so easily broken and that his child, children - a twin sister, Vader recalls - were just as stubborn as he was. 

Luke Skywalker.

Disbelief had been his first response, “How is that possible?”

He had so many questions:- How could his son have survived where his wife did not? How was the body transported to a medical facility in time to save the child? If he had truly killed his wife as the Emperor told him it would surely have been impossible for the child to have survived for the duration of Anakin and Obi-Wan’s duel, Obi-Wan’s return to the ship, and the journey from Mustafar to the nearest medical outpost. Could it be then that Padmé hadn’t died on Mustafar, that she had survived at least long enough to deliver her baby?

But the Emperor had said that Anakin killed her, so how had the baby survived? Not even Obi-Wan could have pulled off a miracle birth like that. 

. . . Unless the Emperor had lied?

But why should he? He’d always been honest with him, the only one, aside from Padmé, who ever had. And he knew of his burning love for his wife, surely he would tell him if she had survived any longer? How long had he known about his son?

He had searched his feeling as bidden and found that he couldn’t deny that the young rebel he’d chased through the trench and attempted to kill was in fact his son. It did make sense of course, the Force had been particularly strong with him, nurtured no doubt by Obi-Wan. Trust that invasive old man to steal his son and corrupt him from youth.

Feelings which had long since been absent in Vader were beginning to stir - urge to protect, care, a familial desire to—

“He could destroy us,”

Vader had not needed to use the Force to figure out the intended actions behind the words, and the desire to protect grew even stronger.

“He’s just a boy. Obi-Wan can no longer help him,”

Did the Emperor truly intend to kill his son? 

Luke. His name was Luke. 

Had Padmé lived to name him? Regardless, Vader would live to protect him. 

“The Force is strong with him. The son of Skywalker must not become a Jedi.”

The son of Skywalker. Anakin had shed association with that identity many years ago, but he didn’t understand why the Emperor was talking as if he wouldn’t want his son. Had he not seen how devoted he was to Padmé? Perhaps he’d forgotten over the years. He agreed Luke couldn’t become a Jedi, but there was of course the obvious alternative.

“If he could be turned, he could become a powerful ally,”

“Yes,” the Emperor had dragged the word out in surprised agreement, “he would be a great asset, can it be done?”

Asset? The word implied a tool, a pawn, a thing to be used. He would not allow his son to become the Emperor’s toy, Luke would become Vader’s ally. Sure, he was part of the Rebel Alliance now, but once he was turned they would be reunited and would rule together.

“He will join us or die, Master,” Vader had replied before bowing.

Of course, he had no intention of killing his son, he had only been trying to appease the Emperor. There would be no need anyway as Luke would join the Dark Side, especially when Vader told him of his parentage...

“NOOO!!”

The news didn’t receive half as well as Vader was hoping.

Although in retrospect he shouldn’t have been surprised at the lies Obi-Wan had been feeding him. Of course he would react so negatively if he had originally thought Vader to be the man who murdered his father. To now realise he _was_ his father would be a huge shock. But in time and with the correct guidance he would soon come to terms with the idea and join him. 

…

Vader had been surprised and relieved when Luke had willingly turned himself in on Endor. He’d only hoped that this meeting would be far more successful than his previous one.

“The Emperor has been expecting you,” he’d begun, hoping to convey both the power of the Emperor and the Dark Side.

“I know, father,” Luke had replied coolly. 

Vader disregarded the negative tone to focus on the positive words, “So, you have accepted the truth,” he stated, pleased Luke had taken a step in the right direction.

“I have accepted the truth that you were once Anakin Skywalker, my father,” 

In other words, you _used_ to be my father.

“That name no longer has any meaning for me,” Vader told him, slightly untruthfully.

Ever since the discovery of his son he’d been feeling more and more like his old self. More emotionally attached, the deep-rooted desire to protect his family had influenced many of his most recent decisions.

“It is the name of your true self, you’ve only forgotten. I know there is good in you, the Emperor hasn’t driven it from you fully. That’s why you couldn’t destroy me, that’s why you won’t bring me to your Emperor now.”

Vader mulled this over. Close, but not quite. Goodness had nothing to do with him sparing his son, it was the need to protect him, to keep him safe.

Did that make him good?

No! He quickly decided. The Jedi had forbidden attachments. The Jedi had no families to protect, therefore looking out for one’s son had nothing to do with the Light Side. And the Emperor didn’t drive the good from him; Vader turned to the Dark Side willingly in order to save his family, something he couldn’t achieve on the Light Side. Goodness had nothing to do with it.

Realising he’d paused for too long, Vader ignited Luke’s lightsaber, remarking on his now completed skill set and the strength of his power.

Luke then asked him to return to the Light Side. Aside from the protective power of the Dark Side, turning sides was not something you just _did,_ just like that. That was such a small-minded Jedi concept, as simple as switching on a light, that Obi-Wan had obviously and foolishly told him.

He admired his son’s stubbornness, it would prove most effective when people tried to sway him _back_ to the Light Side, but first Vader needed to get him _onto_ the Dark Side regardless of the boy’s assertion that he would not turn and that Vader would be forced to kill him.

“If that is your destiny,” he knew he needed to be convincing to assure Luke of his power, but he struggled to put any conviction into his threat. He would not kill his son, and neither would the Emperor. The Emperor knew of his need to protect his loved ones, the very reason he turned to the Dark Side. He wouldn’t kill Luke just to prove a point.

And yet Vader truly wasn’t certain. He hoped Luke would turn and he need never know what the Emperor would have done because together the father and son would have destroyed him together.

…

Unfortunately the Emperor proved no more successful in convincing Luke to turn to the Dark Side than he did. He had come close; he sparked Luke’s anger and incited a duel between him and Vader – which Luke won by cutting of Vader’s hand. Yet even so, Luke threw his sabre away and maintained his refusal.

For now, the battle had been lost, but Luke would remain prisoner aboard the new Death Star until he could be persuaded. He would not give up hope for him and his son joining forces.

At least, that’s how Vader would have dealt with Luke. The Emperor intended to kill him. Slowly.

Vader, true to Luke’s word, felt the conflict battling within him.

He had never doubted his master, and yet here he was torturing his son in front of him. How could this be if the Emperor had foreseen Luke turning to the Dark Side? Had he lied? Had he used Vader to lure Luke here to his doom? Thinking about it, Vader was beginning to realise he’d been the Emperor’s puppet all along. He’d used Anakin to destroy the all of the Sith’s enemies; the Jedi, including Obi-Wan who through it all was the last to give up on him and his return to the Light; the Republic which he realised with a burning rage included his beloved wife Padmé, who would never have stood for Palpatine’s takeover of the galaxy, and was perhaps the only one who could have turned Anakin back to the Light. He’d never had any intentions of saving Padmé’s life at all, in fact he probably meant to end it all along, turning Anakin’s anger into power. And now his son, who was begging for the father he still had faith in after all that had happened, even as he was being tortured to death.

Vader acted quickly, using the Emperor’s distraction to his advantage as he grabbed him, stumbling briefly at the sudden electricity burning through him before he threw the Emperor over the railing, taking an empty pleasure from watching the explosion that followed and his presence being ripped from the Force.

Anakin struggled to breathe, knowing his life support had been fried. Typical of the Emperor for his last act to be taking him down with him. He suddenly felt himself being turned over and helped up by Luke.

“Come on, we’ve gotta get out of here,”

Anakin found himself being half supported half dragged by his son through the Death Star, and while he once again found himself admiring Luke’s loyalty and stubbornness he knew it was all in vain, he knew he wouldn’t survive.

As Luke finally dragged him through the hangar and laid him against the boarding ramp of the ship they’d arrived on, Anakin knew his time was very short and he wanted to die as himself, not the puppet in a mask the Emperor had made him into.

“Luke, help me take… this mask off,” he wheezed.

“But you’ll die,” Luke looked horror-struck.

“Nothing… can stop that now.” And he fully deserved it, Anakin realised, for the way he’d so obviously fallen for the Emperor’s manipulations. And though he didn’t deserve to ask anything more of this amazing boy, he had one final request.

“Just for once, let me… look on you with my own eyes,” without the permanent red tint of the mask, without the Darkness in his mind, clouding his vision and corrupting his judgement. He’d only ever seen his son through his Master’s eyes, now he wanted to see him through his own eyes, mind, and heart.

Luke nodded and carefully set about taking off the individual components of the cursed bucket his condition forced him to wear.

The air stung his exposed skin and his eyes ached with the strain, but at last Anakin saw Luke as he always should have. He now saw the shade of brown in his hair, not quite as auburn as his own had been but neither was it as dark as Padmé’s – a happy medium. Luke’s eyes were the same blue as his own, perhaps that was how he saw the true him so clearly. His skin was tanned from his youth on Tatooine.

Anakin smiled for the first time in over twenty three years. His boy was beautiful, and he was glad he got to truly see him. He regretted he couldn’t also see his daughter, who was on the moon below helping to destroy the Death Star they were currently on.

“Now go… my son,” he told him, the imminent explosion foremost on his mind once again, “leave me,”

“No, you’re coming with me,” Luke protested, “I’ll not leave you here I’ve got to save you!”

“You already have… Luke,” it felt good to use his name with his own voice, “you were right about me. Tell your sister… you were right,”

His vision blurred and his remaining breath escaped him in a single gasp as he collapsed back, Luke’s muffled voice the last thing he ever heard.


End file.
